There are days when time stands still. Everything you are, all your hopes and dreams are caught in a holding pattern while you wait. Everything stops. All your important plans, meetings, and chores no longer matter. Swirling questions collide with emotions in a jumble of unspoken thoughts while you pray, fervently and unceasingly, “Lord, make me brave.”

Seven days ago Mike and I went into the San Giovanni Hospital in Rome. While we were at church last Sunday, a doctor friend told him he should get a blood test because he seemed jaundice and felt really itchy. The blood test showed his liver wasn’t functioning properly, so he was admitted. A series of tests revealed that the bile duct between his liver and gallbladder was crimped due to pressure from blockage in his gallbladder. On Friday they put in a stint to drain the backed up bile. They also took a biopsy of his liver and sent it to be tested, to determine the cause of his issues. They told us the results probably won’t be in until Tuesday, so now we wait.

Since the hospital will only let visitors in from 12:30pm – 2pm, then from 3pm -4pm, and again from 6pm -7pm, I spend a lot of time sitting in the hallway, wandering through this ancient hospital while waiting to see my husband.

I’ve learned that waiting always has a purpose in God’s plan. So as I wait, I bring all my questions to the only One with all the answers… The One who holds the entire universe together and still takes time to paint a sky while He holds my hand!

He doesn’t owe me any explanations. I know my husband belongs to Him. I know that from the beginning of time, He knew the exact number of days I would walk with this man I love. He saw this day. He knew my heart’s cry. None of this is a surprise to Him.

He also knows that I’m a visual learner (He should, He’s the One who wired me that way) so He often speaks to me through pictures. Today, this is what He showed me…

“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me? (Jeremiah 32:27)

As the most brilliant colors I’ve ever seen illuminated the dark swirling clouds, He whispered in the depth of my soul, these words that I will cling to…

Do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be afraid, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you; I will help you;

I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.”

 – Isaiah 41:10

Please pray for Mike’s complete healing… for wisdom for the doctors and medical staff… for the light of Jesus to shine through us where ever He brings us… And Lord, please make me brave! Perhaps the light of Christ shines brightest in the midst of clouds.