Our 4^th short-term trip to Rome last October was very different from our other trips. It was a time for counting the cost… Fears and questions pounded my mind to the point where I couldn’t sleep. Without a doubt, the hardest part to wrap my brain around was the reality of moving so far away from our family… particularly our six grandkids! I was also beginning to see Rome without my enchanted rose-colored glasses and becoming more aware of the underbelly of the impoverished zone of Tor Bella Monaca where we’ll be living.

To top it all off, I was concerned about not knowing Italian well enough to communicate the gospel and realizing how dangerous it could be if we needed to communicate in the case of an emergency. We have been taking Italian lessons for over a year (and practicing with Rosetta Stone for even longer). We’ve learned a lot, but we still struggle with the grammar and syntax that is so different from English.

After wrestling with my fears and questions one long sleepless night in Rome last October, I finally got out of bed at three in the morning to pray. I picked up Mike’s Bible and a photocopied page fell out. The title read, “Biographies of bold disciples begin with chapters of honest terror.” I knew that this was for me! God proceeded to comfort me with His presence, and through His word He answered my many questions as I poured my heart out to Him.

That morning I gave it all into my Father’s very capable hands and became more convinced than ever that this outlandish plan to move clear across the world, is indeed His will for us and that He intends to use my weakness for His glory! Later in the week, we had a conversation with Pastor Brent. He told us about the struggles they faced as they began to serve as missionaries in Rome and how they came to realize that if it was God’s perfect will for them to be there, so far from their family, then it was also God’s perfect will for every other member of their family as well.

A few days after we returned to the States, my dad surprised me with a blessing we weren’t anticipating. It seems, he can get discounted family passes so we can fly stand-by on the airline that purchased the company where he retired. The distance doesn’t seem quite so far when the cost to visit family is so much less than we thought it would be! God had my biggest concern covered all along and was just waiting for me to get on board, before revealing it to me!

The page that slipped from Mike’s Bible was from a book by Max Lucado. I found out later that it was given to him the Sunday before we left for Rome, from someone who felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to send it with us. It also reads…

“For fear of doing the wrong thing for God, some do nothing for God. For fear of making the wrong kingdom decision, some make no kingdom decision. For fear of messing up, some will miss out.”…

“Faith begins when you see God on the mountain and you know that you’re too weak to make the climb. You see what you need… you see what you have… and what you have isn’t enough to accomplish anything… Faith that begins with fear will end up nearer the Father.”